


First Christmas

by sonatas



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 03:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonatas/pseuds/sonatas
Summary: Murdoc Niccals was always one to embrace all the chaos and unpredictability life as a musician had to offer. However, there were some things that didn't quite fit in with his image of a soon-to-be world famous band. Toy shopping for their youngest member was one of them. Pre-phase 1 Christmas fic. Basically a Hallmark movie.





	First Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and happy holidays! 
> 
> I thought I'd share a little holiday themed fic I wrote last Christmas. This year, I revisited it, added a few edits here and there, and then decided to move it over to this account from Tumblr. If you've been following me there, this story may not be entirely new to you, though it has some new dialogue and more description now. It was originally written in past tense (a tense I'm not using at the moment) so I kept it that way. Anyhow, as the summary says, this is pure fluff...like...seriously this is like a Gorillaz version of a Hallmark movie (okay maybe not THAT fluffy) and also just me taking a (very quick) break from my other story. So yeah! A bonus fic of sorts.
> 
> And as always, comments, concerns etc are all greatly appreciated!

“Remind me why we’re here again?” Murdoc eyed the bright, cheery display of the toy shop suspiciously, as if to guard himself against any stray merriment that ran the risk of rubbing off on him. The temperature was just above freezing and the pavement was slick with snow slush; the kind of weather he hated. Even so, he would choose to stand outside for another few days if it meant he wouldn’t have to set foot in that shop. “Or better yet,” he turned to his companion, “Remind me why  _ you’re  _ here again?”

“We’re here because we, or should I say you, have some presents to buy,” was 2D’s matter of fact reply. Unlike Murdoc, he was completely taken with the toy display, forehead pressed against the window in an attempt to get as close to the moving train set as possible. “You think she’d like a one of these, Muds?” He motioned towards the train as it made another lap around the storefront. “Or are these boy’s toys? Then again…Russ also said not to pay attention to, uh, stereotypes or something and I know she likes to put things together and figure things out so I don’t know…”

“I’m being persecuted. You know how easy it would be for me to take this story to  _ The Guardian  _ or, I don’t know,  _ The Daily Mail _ ?” Murdoc said as he looked quickly to either side of them, suspicious. In another few months and their album would be finished recording and he would be famous. He had a specific idea of what he wanted his image to be and it didn’t involve buying presents for children. “I can see the headline now, ‘The Face of Contemporary Religious Discrimination: Satanist forced to participate in rituals against his own tradition.’ Everyone is going to hate you.”

“Russel said not to listen to any of you whining.” 2D said, still fully immersed in the colorful display. “Because this isn’t about Satanism, this is about you.”

“For your information, Faceache, Satanism isn’t about giving, it’s about prioritizing yourself.”

“Well, you’re in a band now. So it can’t be all about you. I think Satan would understand.”

“Oh, shut up,” Murdoc snapped. Of course it could. “I don’t want any part of this! And I definitely don’t want to go shopping with you.”

“Russel it would go faster and that ‘you might actually buy Noodle a present’ this way. Besides, he had to stay home with her to bake cookies and he didn’t trust me not to burn them...and…” He pauses. “This isn’t exactly a pub but it could still be fun, right? The two of us hanging out.”

“In what universe do you make anything go faster? If I wasn’t here you wouldn’t even make it through the door.” Murdoc shivered and pulled his coat around him tighter. The weather really was terrible. “You’d be stuck with your head against that bloody window until the the holiday is over like the imbecile you are.”

2D turned, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Then go in if you think you’re so good at this,” he said. “Or did you not hear me the first time? It’s your present, remember? It’s her name you picked.”

Murdoc let out an exasperated sigh. Oh, he remembered.

* * *

_ It had happened about a month ago at “breakfast.” He knew something was wrong once he saw Russel had gone to the trouble of waiting until the mid-afternoon to have for him to finally slink out of his Winnebago rather than eat with whoever else was up and leave cold leftovers lying around for him like he usually did. But it wasn’t about music and it wasn’t about a new gig and it certainly wasn’t about a new decision to promote Murdoc to lead singer like he had been half seriously been pushing for.  _

_ “So I was thinking, since it’s our first year as a group we should do a little gift exchange. The Hobbs household threw down like this every Christmas and there was never a time it went south.” With that, Russel passed one of his old baseball caps to 2D. “You know how it’s done, right? You pick a name out, and that’s who you’re buying something for this Christmas, but you have to keep it a secret. I already had Noodle pick this morning so that’s why there are only two names.” _

_ As 2D picked, Murdoc had made an attempt to slip of of the kitchen and back to the dark and musty comfort of his Winne. The last thing he wanted to do was buy any of his band mates presents or share any sort holiday cheer with them. Whatever spirit was possessing Russel that day must have gone completely mental. At the very least, he could have asked him six hours ago when he was still drunk enough to have thought it was a good idea. _

_ “Not so fast, Muds.” Russel held out the hat in his direction. “You can leave after you pick a name like the rest of us.” _

_ “Why? So 2D can get another one of those Fisher-Price keyboards that he’ll just take apart or accidentally drop in the bathtub like that one time?” Murdoc said.  _

_ “That was a collector’s item, actually,” 2D said. “And it still works.” _

_ “I wasn’t talking to you. Anyways. I’m my right as a member of this group and as a human to opt  out of this. It’s against my religion.” _

_ But Russel wasn’t phased. “Very funny. The Nation of Islam doesn’t celebrate either but you know what? Christmas meant a lot to my dad’s side of the family, so even though I don’t believe I still went to their house for the holidays because I love them and, like I said, we threw down. And they were happy to have me there. Noodle is ten. I don’t think she’s ever had a Christmas before but she sees all the excitement...I think this would mean a lot to her. We’re a group now, and a group is kind of like a family. To be successful we’re going to have to compromise.” He then slid the baseball cap across the side of the table Murdoc was standing on and said, “So, it’s your turn.” _

_ “But...what about religious freedom?” _

_ “Just pick something, Muds.” _

_ “But I don’t like any of you...”  _

_ “You can tell Satan you didn’t mean it,” 2D added. “Maybe there’s something like...Satanist confession you could go to.” _

_ “Idiot,” Murdoc muttered.  _

_ “Don’t bother, D,” Russel said. “He’s bullshitting us. This isn’t about religious freedom. He just wants to spend the day drinking again like he always does.” _

_ Murdoc glared at both of them as he reached his hand was into the hat and picked out the final piece of paper. When he read the name, his face fell.  _

_ ‘Noodle.’ _

* * *

“You know, this would have been so much easier if she had asked for something like some new guitar strings, or some new records, or something useful!” Murdoc was pacing in front of the store entrance now. Occasionally, a family would have to strategically dodge him in an effort to avoid head on collision while entering and exiting. “Instead she writes down ‘toys,’ but do I get any other description besides that? No.”

“She’s ten, Muds. Ten year olds like toys.”

“Yeah, and you’re twenty-two and here you are ogling that train set. Clearly, this isn’t about age.” Then suddenly, it came to him. That was it. “You.” He pointed at 2D. “If you’re going to be a part of this trip why don’t you make yourself useful and go pick something out?”

“Okay. You wanna come in with me?” 2D’s eyes lit up hopefully.

Murdoc stopped dead in his tracks at the suggestion. “No!”

As 2D wandered dejectedly into the store Murdoc settled in outside the door, resolving to wait. Now, it was just him but the silence didn’t bring him the peace he anticipated. As groups of shoppers rushed by him without so much as a glance in his direction he was struck by the conflicting feelings of claustrophobia from the crowds and isolation when they simply ignored him. He wasn’t used to being a part of the festivities and in a way, as an upbeat version of “Sleigh Ride” played through the speakers in the sidewalk, he didn’t feel like he belonged there. 

His teeth chattered as a gust of wind blew some snow resting on the ground into his face. Grumbling, he checked his watch to find that only half an hour had passed. Patience had never been a strength of his and, after another five minutes, he conceded to himself that spending twenty minutes or so in a children’s toy store was a far better scenario than waiting for 2D to find his way back out from whatever he was doing inside. Before he could convince himself otherwise, he marched through the doors.   


He found 2D in the third aisle. Somehow the singer had gotten four out five of his fingers stuck in some brightly colored finger traps and was staring blankly down at them.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” He ignored the disapproving looks from other parents in the store.

2D’s face brightened. “Murdoc! You think she would like these?” He held up his hands. “The thing is, I dunno why they say they’re for children.” He attempted to pull his fingers apart, showing Murdoc just how stuck he thought he was.

“Give me those,” Murdoc snapped as he grabbed at 2D’s hands. The other reacted surprisingly fast and pulled away from him, holding them as far away from Murdoc as possible.

“No, Muds, you’re going to pull my fingers off!”

“Quit being such a baby!” Murdoc growled as he made a second attempt to reach for the other’s hand. Instead he was met with an elbow to the chest. “I don’t what Russel thought I was going to accomplish with a complete moron who can’t even handle a toy made for five year olds, you’re pathetic!” He let out a final yell of frustration once 2D settled on simply holding his hands above his head, which, due to their difference in height, made it impossible for Murdoc to reach.

“Are you gentlemen in need of any assistance?” They turned to see one of the store’s sales rep. She was wearing carefully placed Santa hat and bold, Christmas themed word uniform. Probably store policy Murdoc thought to himself. He took a moment to be thankful for avoiding all retail jobs as a young adult because there was no way he would be caught dead in such an embarrassing outfit, or any embarrassing outfit really, ever again.

“Oh…um..” 2D was still clearly trying to process the situation.

“He got his hands stuck,” Murdoc said, pointing up to where 2D was still holding his hands.

The worker looked puzzled for a brief moment as she took in the scene before replying cheerily, “Oh, I see. That will be no problem! Sir, can you bring your fingers together like this?” She made a motion with her hands. “That should loosen them up for you.”

2D made a number of valiant attempts to follow her directions, but when it became clear that he was not going to perfect the coordination required to loosen the toys’ grips on all four of his fingers, the worker helped him one finger at a time. “Don’t worry about it,” she assured him, “This happens all the time.”

In the meantime, Murdoc was becoming restless. He first noticed his foot tapping rapidly and he kept looking around the room though he wasn’t entirely sure exactly for what. He wasn’t worried about who might “see him.” It was something he told himself and others to help himself try to understand what he was doing but in reality, Murdoc often noticed that he became antsy when he wasn’t doing something or talking to someone. It was just like when he was outside earlier, feeling like he was invisible.

“Did you need any help finding anything?” The worker asked as she loosened the the final finger trap.

2D blinked, looking at his hands as if it was his first time seeing them. “Thank you,” he replied before adding, “Well, Murdoc over there is, um, looking for a present for, um,” 2D paused, searching for the right words. “….A ten year old.”

Murdoc slapped his palm to his face in exasperation.

“Well I don’t see you coming up with anything better,”

“So she’s a niece? Younger sister? Daughter? Cousin?"

The question gave Murdoc pause. Who was Noodle to him? Or 2D or Russel for that matter? His first inclination had always been colleagues, but colleagues didn’t spend the holidays together, nor did they all live together under the same roof. When he had gotten Gorillaz together he never predicted that his life would become so…domestic. Somehow, he had gone from robbing stores and scrambling for his next meal to Christmas shopping with 2D for their ten year old guitarist.

“She’s, er…She’s a…” Maybe this is what what made him so uncomfortable. Buying a present Noodle meant having to actually think about what she meant to him.  _ A group is kind of like a family, _ he hears Russel’s words from earlier, but he couldn’t bring himself to think it himself. “She’s a...” The words hang in the air..

“We adopted her,” 2D finally added looking over to Murdoc for approval. “We adopted her, uh...together.”

Murdoc didn’t have any verbal answer. Instead he responded with an awkward half-nod and half-shrug. 

The worker chuckled to herself before saying, “There’s no need to be embarrassed.” She motioned towards the back of the store. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where we keep all of our newest arrivals.”

As they walked, Murdoc took in the inventory. For a store that appeared so small on the outside, there was a large variety of games, puzzles, stuffed animals and books. It was pretty impressive and would likely make finding Noodle a present that much more difficult.

“If you need any more help, I’ll be up front,” the worker said as she left. And with that, it was just the two of them again.

“You think she’d like this?” It was 2D again. This time he was flipping through a coloring book filled with different picture of puppies.

“How should I know?” Murdoc grumbled.

“Well, you remember being ten don’t you? What did ten year old Murdoc like?”

Murdoc lowered his eyes, his pace slowing markedly. He didn’t want to think about his life at ten and he definitely did not want to tell 2D in the middle of children’s store, so he only stands there, hating the awkward silence. 

“Okay, well I’ll tell you what about me when I was ten,” 2D said. “My favorite Christmas present that year was this stuffed-”

“This is bloody madness.” Murdoc exclaimed, interrupting him. “We’re never going to leave are we? Why would Russel think that I have any idea of what a normal ten year old might like?”

For a moment, 2D was silent. “I think maybe he, um, maybe he was just taking a chance with all this. I wouldn’t be so stuck on the ten part, if you know what I mean. Just think about Noodle. What does Noodle like?”

Murdoc looked back at the shelves. Well, he thought, Noodle likes music. Noodle customized her own headphones so she’s also creative and smart. Noodle likes to play computer games and also likes animals and film. But she also has a lighthearted side to her because her Christmas list specifically asked for toys. As he scanned the selection in front of him, he suddenly noticed himself getting ideas. “Fine,” he said, as he picked up a box. “We can try this but I swear, if she doesn’t like it I don’t want to hear it from you or from Russel.”

“I knew you could do it,” 2D said, sounding like the proud parent of a child who just won a participation award. “I’m proud of you.”

Murdoc rolled his eyes and sighed. Finally, they could leave.

They checked out with the same worker who had helped them earlier, who excitedly wrapped the gift for them in the store. “I’m sure she’ll love it,” She said warmly as she handed them the bag. “And I want you to know that I think you make a beautiful family.”

Murdoc blanched. “We what?”

“Love is love.” 

“Wait, what?!”

“Wow, thank you,” 2D called cheerily as Murdoc hurried them quickly out the door. “And I love your hat! Merry Christmas!” 

When he caught up with him he said, “You hear that, Muds? She says we’re family. A _beautiful_ family.” He paused to examine his reflection in their car's rearview mirror. "Yeah..."  


“That’s not the kind of family she was talking about, dullard, but you had to go and say we adopted her _together_ and-” Murdoc stopped himself when he saw 2D’s expression begin to falter. The last thing he wanted was to get back home and have to hear another lecture about being nice to 2D. The store has been enough and he was tired. “Ugh, never mind,” he continued as he unlocked the car door. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

Christmas day came more quickly than Murdoc expected. On the morning of, Russel asked everyone to gather in the foyer where they had decorated their Christmas tree. Even though he had spent the previous two days complaining about how much he didn’t like the holidays and how boring it would be to have to spend the entire day with his bandmates, Murdoc was surprised at how prominent his nerves were. 

“So…do you think she’ll like it?” He asked 2D quietly as Noodle approached her gifts.

“Of course she will,” 2D replied without a hint of doubt in his voice. Murdoc wondered what it would be like to be so blissfully unaware and at ease.

“And who’s that one from?” Russel asked as Noodle picked up the package.

“Murdoc-san!” Noodle said excitedly.

“We picked out of a hat and Murdoc picked your name when,” 2D added. “He thought about this one for awhile. But I helped him.”

Murdoc crossed his arms defensively and sighed. “Yeah and some help you were.” He stopped when he noticed Russel’s watchful gaze. Turning to Noodle he motioned toward the gift in her hands. “Well, go on then. You can, er, open it.”

Not at all apprehensive by his lack of enthusiasm, Noodle tore through the paper. What was revealed was a small journal and a box containing a toy robot.

“I, uh, thought since you started writing those- what do call them?- haikus that you might like something to write it all down in. And, uh, the toy, well, I know you like to figure things out and stuff, and the box said something about it being fit for ‘future engineers’ whatever that means, so-” He was interrupted by Noodle giving him a big hug.

“Thank you, thank you. I love it!”

“What do you know,” Russel chuckled as Murdoc’s face turned red with embarrassment. “You figured out how to buy something that wasn’t booze, cigarettes or explicit. I’m proud of you, Muds.” 

Murdoc frowned. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Well, you were so very clear about how excited you were to be a part of this.” He pulled gift from under tree. “Anyhow, this one’s got your name on it.”

Murdoc took the gift from Russel. “For me?”

“Yup. I got you. You get a present, too.” He laughed and added, “Forgot about that part, huh?”

Murdoc stared at the package in disbelief. The entire situation still felt so alien to him, like he was somewhere that wasn’t meant for him. It had to be how 2D felt when he was trying to tie his shoes.

“Well, are you going to open it?” 2D asked. “I want to open mine but I can’t go until you do.”

That snapped Murdoc out of his stupor. “Of course I’m going to open it, dolt! There’s an art to unwrapping gifts, not I that I’d expect you to understand any of that.” He ignored how unnatural it all felt and pulled the wrapping paper off, revealing a thick book entitled  _ House of Leaves. _

“It’s a horror story. Like, a book within a book. The protagonist finds a manuscript for a story in his deceased neighbor’s apartment and as he reads it, he slowly loses his mind. The author does a lot of weird and experimental things with words and pictures. All that and the summary made me think of your wacky ass.” The drummer laughed and gave him a light punch on the shoulder. “Is that Satanic enough for you?”

Murdoc could only stare at the book, eyes wide with astonishment. Russel, that same Russel who, last he knew, thought he was an irreverent and unapproachable and basically didn’t like anything about him, had bought him a present. And he had clearly thought about the present which had to mean that had bothered to think about Murdoc as a person and not just a grumpy colleague he had to put up with.

As he flipped through the pages he was struck by how the excitement he felt. Not only had Russel bought him a gift, he bought him a gift that he actually  _ liked _ when he he could have easily chosen not to buy him anything or wrapped an empty box and pretended there was a gift inside and laughed at him when he opened it to find nothing (something his father had loved to do). Murdoc was at a loss for words. “Thanks,” he said. It was all he could get out.

As he watched the rest of the present being opened he continued to drift uncomfortably between uneasiness and peace. He thought back to the questions he asked himself in the toy store. Who were these people to him? Was he really just included in an entire Christmas celebration with them? Some, like 2D, even had their own families but for whatever reason they chose to spend it with him. Why?

“So did you really like it? You can be honest.” It was Russel. Murdoc jumped slightly. He hadn’t even noticed the drummer was still sitting next to him.

“And I’m being one hundred percent honest when I say that I did,” Murdoc replied. “It’s just that I’m…this…” He motioned to the scene in front of him. The Christmas tree. The presents. 2D and Noodle playing a board game.  “All of this. It isn’t exactly something I’m used to doing. I never really…” He trailed off and looked down at his lap.

“And that’s okay. It’s never too late to start. Actually, if we’re as successful as you say we’re going to be you better get used to it. You’re stuck with us as much as we’re stuck with you.” Russel teased. 

“Haha. Very funny.”

“I’m being serious now. This wasn’t so bad was it?” Russel said as he nudged his shoulder. When he saw that Murdoc’s expression wasn’t changing he took on a more sober tone. “You know, Muds, you don’t tell us very much about who you are. We don’t know much about each other right now, and we don’t always see eye to eye but I don’t think you’re as bad as you think you are.”

“As bad as I think I am? What about as bad as you think I am?”

“I don’t think you’re as bad as I think you are either. As hard as it is to believe, I wanted you to be a part of this. That’s why I was so tough on you the other day.” Russel smiled. “And if you wanna know my honest opinion, I’d say we both need to work on thinking better about you. You’re full of even more surprises than I originally thought and I can concede that you proved me wrong today. Noodle loves her gift.”

Murdoc believed Russel but he was overwhelmed. It was nice to hear someone saying their opinion about him had changed in a positive way, to tell him that he was, on some level, cared about. At the same time it made a significant dent in the unfeeling and boastful persona he was trying to sell them as a protective measure, and that scared him (but only a little bit, he told himself). “I spent an entire afternoon with 2D. She better like her gift.” He crossed his arms again.

“And that’s another thing. You both made it back in one piece - another Christmas miracle.”

Murdoc remained silent and took in the the scene in front of him; Noodle’s happy laughter, or 2D’s goofy grin as he tried to read the instructions for the board game they were playing. It was a nice scene, he could admit that, and he would have time to hide away again if he needed to. He believed in his band, and it was his band that was creating the small yet warm celebration in front of him, so he tried to believe in that, too. He took a deep breath.

“So...” he said as he exhaled. “Don’t tell 2D I told you this but I don’t know it I would have made it in the doors without him. There still isn’t anything going on up there but...he had the right attitude about it.”

Russel laughed. “Sure.” He rifled through his pockets. “Now, what do you say we go see what those two are playing over there?” He pulled out a pair of Santa hats. “Want to get a little more festive?”

Murdoc stared at the hats skeptically. This would be another step into uncharted sentimental territory for him and he had already done and said so much. But he was also not entirely upset about the results his actions had yielded so far. And it was only one day. “Fine,” he said as he grabbed a hat from Russel. “But...no pictures. I think you’ve pushed your luck enough already.”

“Whatever you say, Muds,” Russel replied jokingly as he got up to join the others.

Murdoc stayed behind momentarily, taking a his time to strategically position the hat on his head. He thought again about how this wasn’t the kind of band he expected to create.  _ Family _ , he thinks, finally.  _ We’re a little bit, a tiny, minuscule bit like a family. _ It would take some time but, maybe, just maybe, he could get used to that. At the very least, he would give it a try today.  



End file.
